I spend a lot of time writing, and teaching, and teaching writing, and most days it feels like a combination of screaming into the void and falling down a flight of stairs, both of which are great metaphors because almost everyone can imagine them even if they haven’t had that experience. Connection is the key to writing. Metaphor invites connection.
It’s hard to see yourself in a centimeter. Hard to guess how many liters fit in a cupped hand. Am I writing now, or am I forging, word by word, the yardsticks for describing the world?
The heart is a muscle the size of your fist. Clench one, then the other, and see what you can hold onto.
The heart pumps blood: A bit less than would fit in two of those big party bottles of soda you get from the pizza place. Your blood is enough for one small party, or a medium-length tabletop gaming session. Your blood is half the volume of an average adult cat, floof included. In the USA, where we will measure literally anything by anything else, the average woman is only 6.5 average cats tall.
In the USA, where we will measure anything by anything else, I can deadlift nearly five German Shepherds (definitely five if they’re smallish, closer to four if they’re big, so about two Bidens worth of dogs), which will probably come in useful if there’s an apocalypse.
In the USA, where we will measure anything by anything else, police have killed at least 13 2/3 school buses worth of people this year alone. Coronavirus has killed 251 school buses worth. 671 school buses worth have committed suicide, which probably has something to do with half of people making less than it costs to buy a single bottle of Acqua di Cristallo Tributo a Modigliani. Relatedly, 975 school buses worth have died of an opioid related drug overdose. We have as many supervised injection sites in the USA as we have Dusky Seaside Sparrows, or Kingman’s Prickly Pears, or Tacoma Pocket Gophers.
We will measure anything, by anything else. But maybe it’s time to stop measuring, and start counting.
CrossKnit 
I’ve never thought of Biden as a measuring point before. The ending of this really brought it home. Nicely done.
I like the inventive measuring units (especially a Biden of dogs! <3). I wasn't sure why the first paragraph was there? because even though you use a lot of measurements-as-metaphors, you never mention metaphor or connection after the first paragraph. As always, your writing and especially the specifics you use, are witty and poignant.
You have such a way in driving your points home. I see it in your writing here, but also in FB threads and elsewhere on the ‘net. I am so envious of how you can break down such important and sometimes complex issues into something as simple as measurements. This was really well done imho. Thanks for writing it.
This piece really took off when you got to the “Americans will measure anything” part of it. Your units of measure were eye-opening and worked to bring your message home.
Americans really do measure everything. There’s a sign in my vet right now that says, “keep three cats distance”. I had to mention it because of the cat measurements above.
I’m CACKLING. I refer to it as “one sofa of distance” usually and people’s minds are blown. Apparently nobody knows how long six feet is but everyone has a sofa?
I admire your drive and the way you break down complex issues and drive your points home. I often feel like I’m chipping away at the edges of an issue while you are hammering through to the heart of it.
There’s a time for scalpels and a time for blunt instruments.