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Being alive in 2018 is, as I noted in a Facebook post today before I decided I wanted to be more verbose, like playing the shittiest game of “would you rather” ever, where the questions are made up by terrible people and the stakes are a lot higher than who buys the next round.

Remember how to play “would you rather?” You’re given two fairly extreme choices and you have to pick one and explain why. It’s supposed to be a conversation starter. You know. Stuff like would you rather eat a goat’s eyeball or pay for a prix fixe dinner for two.

Would you rather have a rapist on the Supreme Court or see what they come up with that’s worse?

I mean, another rapist. Sorry. Let’s try that again.

Would you rather have someone on the highest court who believes in the President’s absolute right of self-pardon, or see what happens when the President fires special counsel?

Would you rather have an unpredictable tyrant in the most powerful seat in the country, or a totally predictable bigot who believes in things like conversion “therapy” but not abortion?

Would you rather answer invasive questions and deal with death threats immediately after your rape or a couple decades later?

Would you rather go to work every day with a boss who can’t be bothered to learn your name and who makes remarks about a marginalized group that you’re not visibly part of even though you belong to it, or speak up and be jobless in this economy?

Would you rather be attacked in your home or on the street?

Would you rather deport people who have lived in a country all their lives or not admit people to that country who are fleeing for their lives?

That last one is a trick question.

They’re all trick questions.

It’s a Gordian knot, y’all, the game is rigged and the only catch is Catch-22. The real question is: would you rather figure out what to do about it, or let history write itself around you while you finally take those YouTube fiddle lessons?

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