Tags

,

I promise I have yarn porn coming, as soon as I finish this wee baby jacket.  Which means “this week” since Baby P is due to chestburst out of his incubator on Friday.  In the meantime, though…

what the fuck is “giving Tuesday”?

I don’t understand.  I really don’t.  I don’t understand Black Friday and why that should be treated like a holiday, I damn well don’t understand Cyber Monday (because who in their right effing MIND would rather shop in a crush at 3am than at home, so why don’t the online stores just do their specials on Friday and we can shop in our jammies and then if they want to start on Thanksgiving it’s ok because nobody has to go to online store work, the orders can just queue up and they can handle them when they get in at a reasonable hour on Friday) but i really REALLY don’t understand Giving Tuesday

for one thing, who has any money left after Black Friday and Cyber Monday

wait

ADD kicking in.  IF NOBODY ASKS YOU A/S/L it’s not really cyber, now is it?

ok, but anyway, Giving Tuesday.  Now that you all feel poor and guilty, let’s give money to people.  Google+ even asked me today if I wanted to join a “hangout” (video chat a bunch of strangers? fuck off. I thought you knew me better than that, Google.  One search for trolls of chatroulette doth not a hangerouter make) that is basically a VOLUNTARY TELETHON.  No.  NO WAY.  I remember that shit from the PBS of my youth, and I’m having none of it.  Basically the PBS thing only works because it prevents you from watching the shows you want to watch while it heaps coals of guilt fire on your head.  Why would I voluntarily go join a bunch of strangers to get more of that in the face?

Also I guess I should make with my annual rant about how the Salvation Army and Boy Scouts are a bunch of dickfaces (only not literally, which is kinda the problem) to the LGBT community and you should not give them any money or buy trees from them and there are a BUNCH better charities to give to if you’re going to get into Giving Tuesday.

But even better, how about “giving to your favorite blogger” Wednesday? and Thursday.  I love presents.

 

Advertisements