Tags

,

ME: The Boss is leaving at 3:30. PRAISE JEBUS.  HAPPY HOUR GO! Uh, I mean, therefore, I can go any time after that, or meet you wherever. it is a fucking GORGEOUS day out there and you for-sure want to sit outside.  It’s such a nice day that you may think it is too warm for knitted goods and reject your TOTALLYASURPRISEPRESENT

HER: Highly unlikely that I will reject a hand knitted anything.  I can’t get out of here until 5:00.

ME: that’s ok. I just found out I have a client with an emergency tax return who is taking public transit for about six miles, starting now, to sign crap.  srsly how did everyone forget until 2pm to call each other and be like “let’s get this signed and filed today”
if you were to reject your present, I’m sure it will find agood home.  in my shoes. uh. SPOILERS.

HER: So, same place as last time?

ME: Are they on the right side of the street for sun?… DUH. GOD, I don’t even know.

HER: Um… I don’t know

ME: Yes, they are.

HER: They are on the east side of the street.

ME: and the sun sets in the WEST, so yes…

HER: So, yes

ME: WARNING: I just ate a donut. And cheese soup. SUGAR HIGH INCOMING.

HER: As long as I don’t get the sugar crash I’m good.

ME: it’ll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine……doncha TRUST me?

HER: um, sure…

ME: dood I don’t know where this good mood came from but holy shit I WANT TO KEEP IT FOREVER.  I’m grinning for no reason.

shut up. it does NOT signal imminent crash. NO!

HER: ok
Whatever you think.

ME: I’m going to drink coffee until timeslows down so I can enjoy tis feeling froever.
see? I am faster than grammar!

HER: good lord

ME: ENJOY IT!
I am not bitching about my boss.

HER: True fact!

ME: am not sad about money or houses or relationships
I HAD A DONUT AND EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL
YOU.
THIS POSITIVITY IS A PRESENT
it is your GIFT
and your RIGHT
AND YOU WILL FUCKING ENJOY IT.
OR ELSE
i don’t know else what.
or else I’m not knitting you any more grey stuff, I guess.
it will all be rainbows

HER: Gah!! I’m enjoying!

ME: the power of poppyseed compels thee

 

Advertisements